How to be a real and true friend

How to be a real and true friend

A true friend is someone who has your back when things are going very wrong in your life. You'll know when you find them. Maybe you'll start off as strangers, and get to know each other slowly. Maybe things will fall into place quickly after that—“Oh, you do this too?! I thought I was the only one!”—and you realize you have more in common than you thought previously.

It takes a lot endurance and patience to be a good friend

Being loyal is easy until the one is right, until you don't need to suggest, remind, advice or warn "in 4 eyes"  by being direct, open but private(~). I personally don't approve judging as an act which befits to a human, I consider it as Lord's job only. No matter how much we communicate, our basic knowledge and language barriers even in a maternal language are never 1000 per mills helpful to achieve total understanding.

We can't judge because our perceptions of what is apparent are                                                      different.❞

As a communication is still the most important thing in a friendship,  it is important to know about it's rules and problems of language abuse while communicating.

Friendship Themes

Although everyone may have their own individual definition of what friendship should be, a few common themes of what friendship entails were revealed in a recent study.

1.     Friendships are considered to exist when pleasure is taken in the company of another; when being with someone becomes a duty, rather than a preference, friendships begin to wane.

2.     The construct of friendship implies reciprocity and give-and-take. This is not in the sense of an immediate even exchange economic model of behavior, rather that support is expected to flow both ways as needs arise for either party.

3.     Levels of friendship commitment vary over a lifetime, depending on the energy required by family or other commitments at the time. However, many of the women believe that when crisis strikes, true friends can be counted on to offer support, regardless of any inconvenience or challenges they may face to do so.

4.     We engage in friendships on a voluntary basis and we recognize that our friends are also making the choice to engage in the relationship. This strong mutual alliance was summed up clearly by one woman in the following manner, “I feel like my circle of friends are the family I chose.”

5.     Perhaps most importantly, genuine friendships will flourish only if mutual respect exists between friends.

Who Do We Choose as a Friend?

Models of friendship show that there are two main categories of factors that influence our choice and pursuit of potential friends: individual factors and environmental factors. Individual factors include such influences as approachability, social skills, self-disclosure, similarity, and closeness. Environmental factors include influences such as proximity, geography, activities, and life events.

Research continues to support our preferences for friends who we believe to be similar to ourselves and who have personalities that we enjoy being around; choosing friends such as these most likely decreases the possibility for interpersonal conflict.

Do "Looks" Really Matter?

Level of attractiveness also comes into play during the initial stages of friendship. Americans tend to be drawn towards beauty, and we tend to believe that attractive people are more like us in their attitudes and values, regardless of where we rank in the world of beauty or style. Researchers have explored this seemingly innate attraction to attractive people and have found out some interesting things. For one, an attractive face tends to feel familiar to us – we feel like we have already interacted with this person previously, even if we have not. This feeling of recognition may partly explain why we might be drawn initially to an attractive person – their presence may help us feel comfortable in a social situation. However, it is still unproven that attractive women actually have more friends than less attractive women. In fact, research tends to show that we pretty much choose friends who we would rank at about the same level of attractiveness that we rank ourselves – the same way we tend to choose long-term romantic partners who are similar to us in their level of attractiveness.

Friend is not a thing which can be classified as a True Friend, Best Friend or Fake Friend.You will find several definitions​ of true friend on Google (and on other answers to this question also), but If you will follow any of those you will find that you didn't have a single true friend.

You must understand that friend is not someone who is available 24X7 to help you.Our real life friends also have real life problems and by following any shit definition of true friend you can't say that He didn't helped me that day, so he is not a true friend.There may be a chance that he wants you to learn how to tackle with that problem so that in future you don't need anyone's help.If you will follow any shit written on the internet about friends forget about true friend, your single friend didn't even qualify to be a friend.